Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize