Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
