wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
