he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
