you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
God, I missed his penis.
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