One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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