you would pick up someone in the library
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
