absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
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