On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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