You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
