You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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