I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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