i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
