I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
