Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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