you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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