yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
