well you can't waste a boner
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
