I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
