Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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