Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize