Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
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i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
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For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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