Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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