Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
