By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
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Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
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