Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
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