i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
