can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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