Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Ladies don't puke and tell
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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