i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize