So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
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i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Houston, we have a blender
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Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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