you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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