New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
