we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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