Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
