im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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