I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
