Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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