I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
