Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
