Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
