Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I need to calm my uterus...
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
