I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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