Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
