need another drink. this is the easiest way
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
