mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize