Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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