belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Can I color on your dick again?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
