i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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