NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
