Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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