last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
