I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
