hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
